Christmas Morning
by The Atomic Cafe
Summary: During HBP. Remus Lupin decided to pay a small visit to Tonks on a foggy Christmas morning. COMPLETE.


_**Christmas Morning**_

_**By Dimgwrthien**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to Harry Potter or affiliates. Please do not sue. I'm merely borrowing the characters and setting.**_

Snow stung bitterly around Remus Lupin's face as he approached the house he had Apparated in front of. From the outside, it looked nothing like what he expected Tonks' house to look like. The paint took on a dull white color and nothing strange gave hints as to the unusual owner of the house.

Christmas morning had proven to be a dreadful day. The Minister had come and spoke to Harry, who returned looking somewhat angry. Molly bothered Remus for the hundredth time about going off with Tonks. With the children around, Remus found it pointless to even bother going on about how Tonks deserved better than him. There were millions of men in the world; why couldn't she find one of them better?

He knocked on the door, hearing the sounds of movement from inside. Tonks opened the door slowly, peering outside before throwing it open the rest of the way.

For it being a happy holiday, she looked as miserable as Remus felt. Her hair was lank and shadows lined the underside of her eyes. The woman was thinner than usual and her skin had taken on a pale color.

"Remus?" she asked, frowning at him. In one hand she held a wine glass that was half full with a liquid. "You got off the mission then?"

Shaking his head, Remus answered, "I get the week off from it. I wanted to talk to you -"

"Funny," she answered in a coldly indifferent voice. "I remember you saying that '_we shouldn't talk about this anymore_' -"

"Nymphadora," Remus said sternly. She pursed her lips and watched him through heavy-lidded eyes. "Nymphadora, you know perfectly well that I like you. Is it a problem to come visit you on Christmas?"

She sighed and looked at the glass in her hand for a moment. "Fine," she answered, moving from the door. "We can talk."

Remus entered inside the house and discovered how the house could be hers. The walls were bright shades of orange and blue from what he could see inside and most of the objects were unrecognizable except for the large Weird Sisters poster hanging from a wall and admitting a light of its own. However, there was something that did not fit her personality: everything seemed organized. From what it looked like, the front room they entered into was in perfect order while the room he saw after it was disorganized.

"What did you want to talk about?" she asked, sitting down on a chair. A fire cast shadows over her face and making her look even more ill. She waved a hand to invite him to sit and Remus placed himself next to her. "Wine?" He declined.

"Molly said she invited you but you refused to come. Why?"

Taking a sip, she leaned further into the chair and answered, "I preferred a quiet holiday this time. Just wanted to keep home for once. I haven't been able to relax in a long time."

Remus nodded and folded in hands awkwardly in his lap. "She just assumed you wanted to go with your family this time -"

Tonks sighed. "Really? I just wanted to be alone and - and think some things over." She turned and saw that Remus was staring her own with a sarcastic look. "No, not just that, Remus. Contrary to popular belief these days, I have more to think about than love."

Remus felt the bottom of his stomach fall through the floor. When he opened his mouth, however, Tonks rode over his words.

"How did it go with them this time?" she asked. Remus noticed how she seemed to refuse to refer Greyback and the others as werewolves and tried to avoid even giving them a name. Remus was torn between liking it and finding it an insult.

"The same as usual," he answered lightly. "I went, spent some time there, came back." It was a lie. Spending any amount of time with the werewolves was torture on him, physically and mentally. They could spring back up after the full moon easily while Remus could barely lift his head. Even speaking to them seemed to be a betrayal to wizards. And it wasn't even like he had been raised to hate them, so he could only wonder what a normal wizard would do.

She seemed to be able to see past his words and ran her hand down the side of his face, staring him down. It was only then that Remus saw her eyes. They were almond shaped and grey, exactly like Sirius' eyes. He was still lost as to whether her current appearance was her natural one or the last one she was in before she stopped being able to Metamorphose. He had, indeed, noticed that it was almost mimicking his own looks. The hair color was very similar and Remus found it hard to ignore the pale grey skin and other small similarities.

"I know it wasn't that easy," she whispered, looking… sad? Full of pity? Remus could no longer tell her motions apart. They all seemed to blur into something that was wrong and not the way she was normally. "It's been tough on all of us, I know, but… You've had it really hard, Remus."

He moved his face from her grasp and stared at the fire. "It's fine. I'm doing alright."

There was silence and Remus glanced over at Tonks. Her eyes were closed as though tired of him. However, when she opened them, he saw that she was glancing at a lock of her hair and giving it a sad look. She did not need to speak; that one action did everything words could have done. It had been harder on her than on him. She may not have been the one with the werewolves, but she was the one who was not used to anything going on. It was her first real war and she was only just starting to see the casualties.

"One of these days," she murmured, "the war's going to be over. And we're all still going to be miserable because not all of us will be there in the end. Until then, we can only try to keep ourselves a bit happier and then maybe the end will seem brighter." She gave Remus a helpless look. "Remus, we can make each other happier, I know it."

Great. The 'We May Die, So We Should Marry' speech. "Nymphadora, it's too dangerous -"

She threw her hands into the air and let out a vicious sigh. "Remus, it's always going to be dangerous, isn't it? Haven't you ever thought about a time when we could just be happy and we're perfectly safe! All of us are in danger right now, and being - loving - whatever! That's not any more dangerous than what we do now!" She grasped his shoulders and shook them slightly. "There's not a difference!"

"I wasn't talking about the war," Remus answered quietly, staring at his hands. She let go of him as though shocked.

"You're not dangerous, Remus. No, don't interrupt," she hissed when he opened his mouth. "You're sweet and lovely, not dangerous."

Remus just shook his head and muttered to her that he ought to be leaving again.

Tonks stared him down for a moment as he grasped the door handle. Seizing his shoulders, she caught him in a smooth embrace which Remus returned after a moment's shock. It felt odd to hug a girl who was at least ten years his junior, but Remus had to admit, the way she hugged, she could have been in love with him.

The foggy Christmas morning seemed brighter than it had been before.


End file.
